Police Dispatch

Street Performance, Literally

San Xavier Beat

Dec. 11, 8:47 a.m.

A man claimed he'd been smoking table salt after being apprehended for performing a perilously provocative presentation in the street—including air-guitar riffs and dancing, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Early on a December morning, sheriff's deputies responded to a "traffic hazard" call from near the intersections of Los Reales Road and Meadowlark Avenue, where a reportee said she'd been watching the subject on the side of the road (and in the road) for about an hour. She said she saw him throw a rock at a passing car and make "strange gestures" while dancing and screaming something undecipherable, often moving far enough into the street to force oncoming traffic veer around him. She said much of the time his pants were falling down, so he was continually trying to pull or hold them up. She also thought she'd seen him urinate.

Deputies found the man about 25 feet from the road, wearing dark clothing and socks without shoes. He was "acting strangely" and indeed making unusual gestures—specifically, "moving his fingers weird ... flexing and un-flexing his hand, sort of like if he was playing the air guitar."

Upon questioning, the man denied all the reportee's claims, saying he'd never actually gone into the street (or thrown a rock or urinated publicly). He refused to let officers search him for contraband.

But at one point, he sat down on the ground (without prompting), which caused his pant legs to rise, exposing his socks—one of which displayed a very suspicious-looking, pipe-shaped bulge. Asked about this bulge, the man extracted from his sock what did turn out to be a methamphetamine pipe.

The man told deputies that although he'd smoked meth from the pipe in the past, recently he was sticking to only using it for table salt. He said the last time he'd smoked table salt was two days prior.

After he promised to head straight home and not cause trouble in the area, deputies cited and released him for possession of drug paraphernalia.

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