Police Dispatch 

She Didn't Light His Fire

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Foothills Area

Dec. 9, 9:17 a.m.

A young man's ex-girlfriend made some odd maneuvers in an apparent attempt at post-breakup revenge, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The youth told sheriff's deputies he and his girlfriend had been living together for the last seven months but had just ended things, and she'd moved out of their place last night. Before she left, he said, he'd been lying on his stomach on his bed when she approached and poured a little bit of lighter fluid "on his butt" (not specifying whether or not he'd been wearing pants). He said the lighter fluid didn't hurt him; he "just want(ed) to report (it)."

He seemed more concerned in reporting that, when packing up her stuff last night, his ex had stolen two of his houseplants—a cactus and one other type of succulent (both planted in dishes).

Upon interview, the reportee's ex-girlfriend insisted the plants had been hers, not his. Regarding the lighter-fluid incident, she laughed and said she and her ex had been joking around—she'd simply placed one drop of the liquid "by the top of his butt crack ... to see what happened" (suggesting he had been wearing pants but his crack was exposed). She said she never lit the fluid on fire.

Deputies advised her to cease contact with her ex.

More by Anna Mirocha


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