Police Dispatch 

Gotta Know When to Fold ’Em

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UA Area

Dec. 2, 1:42 a.m.

University of Arizona police found a young victim of frat-party hijinks who was publicly intoxicated, underage, urinating outside, and impaired enough to act belligerent toward them—and the officers still almost let him escape jail ... until he pushed it a tad too far, according to a UA Police Department report.

Patrolling the area in their vehicle, two officers found him at nearly 2 a.m. stumbling down Euclid Avenue toward First Avenue, then saw him pee on a private shed plainly in view of the relatively major thoroughfare. When they pulled over to beckon him forward for questioning, he almost fell over several times while walking toward them. Smelling strongly of alcohol, the young man gave them his identification—which showed him younger than 21—and proceeded (while slurring) to accuse the officers of intentionally trying to "get him in trouble."

He readily admitted to having recently drinking an unknown amount of vodka at a nearby fraternity, occasionally making nonsensical statements. When officers took hold of him and brought him to the rear of their vehicle to speak with him further, he started "saying random sentences" and yelling obscenities at the two men, acting "very hostile."

The officers put him in their vehicle and told him he'd be cited and released to someone safely if he'd only sign his ticket—until, just as he was about to finally sign it, he decided to spit in their car (still screaming curses).

He continued to yell and spit so much he had to be placed in a "spit hood." They took him to jail.

More by Anna Mirocha


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