Police Dispatch

That's Shady

San Xavier Beat

Dec. 7, 5:07 a.m.

A small and very polite young man was caught breaking into random cars to steal odd, inexpensive personal items he apparently fancied (especially sunglasses), according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

One of his victims reportedly caught him red-handed: When sheriff's deputies met with her she said she'd been about to drive her car early that morning when she opened its door to find a thin, 5'4" male in his early 20s sitting in her driver's seat, looking guilty (as if he'd been "rummaging around").

"What the fuck are you doing in my car?!" she reportedly yelled, at which point the man exited her vehicle immediately, acting very apologetic and pleadingly stammering "Madam, madam!" over and over, finally saying, "I'm sorry!" before fleeing out of sight.

However, she reported, he fled the wrong way—right up the victim's road into a cul-de-sac, where he couldn't escape unseen and had to hide in a neighbor's yard.

She said she hadn't noticed anything missing from her car except a pair of aviator sunglasses in a case.

Indeed, a patrol unit soon found the man right up her road, and his backpack contained a pair of sunglasses—as well as lots of other strange stuff, such as "a great deal of loose change," several articles of what appeared to be other people's clothing (including jackets, T-shirts and sweatshirts), several bottles of perfume and cologne, and numerous pairs of shades. Cords and other electronic accessories were pilling from his pockets.

The subject denied breaking into anyone's car, but after the female reportee fingered him in person, deputies deduced he'd not only been in her vehicle but in many others—since nearby residents had also recently reported vehicle break-ins.

Deputies couldn't find the woman's missing aviators, but they did return to her a blue-striped shirt the subject had stolen from her vehicle (apparently not caring whether or not it was a woman's top). He was taken to jail.

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