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Don't Steal Where You Eat

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East Benson Highway

May 6, 8:29 p.m.

A young man got himself banished, for no apparent reason, from what was apparently his most convenient convenience store from which to shoplift, a PCSD report stated.

The manager of a southeast-side Quik Mart said a 22-year-old male, who often shoplifted pittances and fled to the closest apartment complex (his probable residence), had just randomly entered and went beyond shoplifting—repeatedly yelling, "Fuck you!" and trying to fight with the manager, despite commands to leave. (When he finally did leave, he stole a couple small packages of food, as was his alleged habit.)

Deputies couldn't locate the shoplifter-turned-attempted-assailant. Regardless, if he ever were to come to that Quik Mart again, he'd legally be trespassing—so in this arbitrary act of disorderly conduct, he'd likely robbed himself of at least a few more chances to conveniently steal future goodies.

More by Anna Mirocha

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