Police Dispatch

High Jinks

Tucson Mountain Beat

May 5, 2:14 p.m.

A mysterious vandal repeatedly sneaked onto the property of a local Drug Enforcement Agency officer at night and performed very odd pranks, from pouring various foodstuffs on his yard and plants to "borrowing" his pet reptile, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

When sheriff's deputies met with the man, he said over the last few months someone he didn't know had been performing random shenanigans to mess with him. He wasn't sure who might have the motivation, but the weird nature of the hijinks certainly didn't rule out that they'd been done by someone on drugs—and the man was, after all, a DEA agent. He did seem to suspect the son of his neighbor to the north, whom he mentioned had once been arrested on a drug charge.

According to the reportee, the suspected druggie's devilry included dousing all the plants in his front yard with ketchup and barbeque sauce, littering his driveway with pieces of chewed-up gum, and now—just last night— pouring a large bucket of motor oil up and down his driveway, leaving stains.

The suspected druggie's devilry had also apparently included stealing the man's tortoise for a time: The tortoise went missing for days, he said, but "was eventually returned."

Although the reportee said "he did not really think any of these were major events," he was very interested in getting the perpetrator punished if possible. The reporting deputy promised to do periodic "patrol calls" in the neighborhood to try and catch the offbeat offender.

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