Police Dispatch 

Who Needs a Weapon When You Have Dirt and Jägermeister?

Foothills Area

March 12, 10:52 p.m.

It took three deputies to apprehend a belligerent drunk man who kept throwing dirt and rocks at a random trailer in front of which he'd fallen off his bicycle, a PCSD report said.

Two men living in the trailer called law enforcement about the subject, whom deputies found still sitting near a bike, but now throwing dirt at another man standing with him (later found out to be his uncle). The uncle said his nephew was drunk off Jägermeister.

At first, the subject insisted he was fine after his fall—but he started to cry once he noticed his leg was injured. He then started cussing—still throwing rocks and dirt, but now at deputies—and yelled, "I fucking hate you!" while daring them to kick him (warning, "I know jujitsu!"). During the handcuffing process, he actually ripped one deputy's watch off; later he gave another deputy a swift kick "in the privates." (After that, he was put in heavy restraints.)

The subject banged his head on the cop car's window all the way to jail.


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