Police Dispatch 

High as a Rainbow

Green Valley

March 8, 11:38 a.m.

An oddly dressed, hippie-nicknamed transient—who apparently believed he was Jesus—was arrested after running amok through freeway traffic in possession of marijuana, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Deputies were called to a Green Valley Interstate 10 frontage road, where they found a disheveled, dirty man wearing an unbuttoned white dress shirt, a red vest and a red tie—along with what later appeared to be two pairs of denim jeans, one worn on top of the other—running in and out of the busy street.

Firefighters had already set up cones to divert traffic away from the subject, who was backing up a line of vehicles trying to avoid hitting him en route to the freeway.

While being handcuffed, he said, "I'm an innocent man!"—in the same breath announcing that he had "something on him," raising his leg to show deputies that one sock was stuffed with a sizeable bag of marijuana.

Badly slurring his words, he said his name was "Rainbow," and he'd recently been kicked out of a homeless shelter. He said he didn't really have anywhere to go, so he'd like to just be dropped off at the nearest Longhorn Steakhouse.

Told that instead he must be jailed, he became extremely upset, yelling and cussing and demanding to use the restroom. He then threatened deputies with phrases like, "You'll all fuckin pay," "You don't fuck with the homeless," and finally, "You don't fuck with Jesus." (Perhaps he thought that since Jesus could walk on water, he could run through traffic.)

"Rainbow" was eventually allowed to urinate in jail.

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