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Don't Know What You've Got Till It's (Totally) Gone

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San Xavier Beat April 6, 5:55 p.m.

A man became so angry at the thought of someone stealing a small amount of his tobacco that he caused a significant domestic disturbance, landing himself in a certain institution renowned for not allowing tobacco at all, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

Sheriff's deputies were called to the subject's house, where a housemate had reported he was having a "psychotic episode." Upon interview, the subject explained that he'd gone out that day and returned to his room to find that his pouch of loose smoking tobacco wasn't as full as it had been when he'd left—suggesting someone in his house must've pinched some. He said sometime he gave it to his housemates voluntarily—but obviously this wasn't one of those times, as (his housemate reported) he'd begun screaming, cursing and banging violently on his walls once he'd come home to discover the alleged tobacco theft. One resident stated he even threatened to "go fuck up" the thief.

The man admitted to raising his voice in anger once he'd found his less-than-full tobacco pouch, but he denied being particularly disruptive or banging on the walls. Unfortunately, the testimony from his housemates against him—as well as his still-angry mannerisms—was enough evidence against him that deputies arrested him for disorderly conduct. They obviously didn't allow him to take whatever was left of his tobacco to jail.

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