Police Dispatch 

Clandestine "Landscaping"

Foothills Area

Jan. 26, 12:38 p.m.

Someone invaded a man's yard by night to "trim" several decorative plants, "harvest" vegetables from his garden ... and piss in a flower pot, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The reportee called sheriff's deputies to his residence, telling them that the previous night someone had entered the small yard of his first-floor apartment and reaped destruction on his garden. The visitor reportedly broke numerous branches off his bird-of-paradise plant, used his pruning shears to almost completely strip his pepper and green onion plants, and very noticeably "clip down" his rose bush, throwing all the cuttings on his porch.

Finally, the man said, his visitor peed in one of his plant pots.

The victim couldn't think of any fellow apartment-complex resident who'd previously shown hostility toward him except his upstairs neighbor, who once had purposefully poured beer down onto his porch from the neighbor's own porch (or perhaps out the window) about three months ago. He did say someone had entered his yard about a week and a half ago but wouldn't elaborate.

The man said he'd set up a video camera and then call law enforcement again if the invading plant pruner/pot pisser returned.

More by Anna Mirocha


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