Police Dispatch 

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Foothills Area

Dec. 29, 3:21 p.m.

A drunk woman armed with a PVC pipe made quite a commotion after apparently letting loose one neighbor's dogs and screaming that another neighbor wanted to bone her, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies were dispatched to a foothills-area neighborhood where several people were in their front yards, with one woman "screaming at the top of her lungs." The reportee of the incident told deputies that the screaming woman was trying to start a fight and had been yelling that their across-the-street neighbor's "fucking" dogs were "running around all over the place" and accusing the reportee's husband of "wanting to fuck her (the screaming woman)."

The husband said he'd been peacefully watching TV inside when his son pointed out the window at "a crazy lady" across the street wielding a big piece of a PVC pipe. She was standing by his neighbor's gate at one moment—and the next moment, he said, the dogs inside that gate had been set free (presumably by her).

After he helped his across-the-street neighbor retrieve his dogs, he said, he found the woman—who turned out to be his next-door neighbor—outside his house now, yelling, "I know you want to fuck me!" and other obscenities. He believed she was drunk.

Upon interview, she told deputies that she'd indeed gone onto the reportee's husband's property and "began stating that he wanted to fuck her." She complained that her across-the-street neighbors' dogs were always escaping and riling up her own dogs, so she'd gone over to lock them in their gate—effectively denying she'd done the opposite (let them out) that day.

The subject definitely smelled of alcohol. When deputies arrested her for disturbing the peace, and since she'd definitely been disturbing the peace, she repeatedly said, "This is bull crap."

Maybe if He'd Had a Printer...

San Xavier Beat

Jan. 1., 11:37 p.m.

A kid got busted for possession of pills in prescription bottles whose labels had been forged—in someone's actual handwriting, a PCSD report stated.

The father of the subject, a 23-year-old who still lived with him, told deputies he'd been looking for something in his son's room when he found a lot of drug paraphernalia and pills in his desk. Deputies confirmed the bottles contained more than 100 pills, including benzodiazepines.

The pill bottles did have labels on them, ostensibly meant to show that the pills had been prescribed to the subject—but they'd been written out by hand.

The young man had apparently fled the scene four days ago, and all the father wanted was for deputies to remove the drugs—which they did.

More by Anna Mirocha


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