Police Dispatch



MAY 13, 10:44 P.M.

A man in desperate need of a restroom decided to take a dump in a University of Arizona parking garage, according to a UA Police Department report.

Two officers were patrolling near Speedway Boulevard and Park Avenue when they saw an apparently suspicious-looking male walking with a bicycle near a 7-Eleven.

They followed him into the Park Avenue Garage, 1140 N. Park Ave., and spotted his bike. They then saw the man himself rise from a sitting position behind a brick pillar.

One officer inspecting the area saw a "fist-sized pile of wet-in-appearance feces" at the foot of the pillar, and two wadded-up napkins apparently soiled with the same feces.

When the officers interviewed the subject, he said the 7-Eleven clerk had denied him bathroom access, so he'd taken some napkins from the store's condiment area and looked elsewhere for a place to relieve himself.

"Gotta do what I gotta do," he told the officers.

The man was arrested on a previous warrant as well as for criminal littering (that is, pooping in public).

Before being handcuffed, he was forced to use the napkins he'd left on the ground to clean up his feces. He deposited the mess in a nearby Dumpster.



MAY 2, 6:42 P.M.

A drunken UA student perusing poetry at the library was evicted for making a racket in the stacks, a UAPD report said.

An officer received a call about an "unwanted person" who was disturbing patrons at the Main Library, 1510 E. University Blvd.

The subject, who appeared to be intoxicated, told the officer he was sorry and hadn't realized he had been so loud. He said he was looking for a poetry book.

The officer told the subject he should leave the library and sober up at home. He escorted the subject to a nearby bus stop and warned him that if he continued to cause disruptions at the library he would be arrested.

The subject said he didn't want that to happen and would "try not to come on campus . . . so intoxicated." He got on a bus and left the scene.

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