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SLANG BANGER

NORTH MORNING GLORY DRIVE

SEPT. 10, 11:27 A.M.

A man got into an argument with his teenage son—and did not understand some of his son's lingo, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

When deputies arrived at the house after a domestic-violence call, one deputy had to chase down the 17-year-old son through the backyard; eventually, the subject sat on the ground and allowed himself to be handcuffed.

The son told deputies that he and his father had gotten into an argument because the father always "pulled up fast on him." He apparently meant that his father had driven his car quickly into the driveway.

The father said that the night before, his son had invited two friends over, which wasn't allowed. That morning, when the father was working in the kitchen, he reminded his son of that fact. The son reportedly said, "If you roll up to me like that again, I'm gonna light you up." The father apparently didn't understand that when his son said "roll up to," he was referring to his father's driveway speed. The father also guessed that "light you up" was a threat to kill him, so he called police.

The son then allegedly overturned a high chair, threw a bag of bread, broke one of his little sister's castle toys, broke a wooden fence post and poured an entire can of paint on the floor of the patio.

The son was arrested and booked for several domestic-violence-related charges. His older sister said she thought he was in a gang.


REALLY FAST FOOD

WEST OLD AJO WAY

SEPT. 6, 8:10 P.M.

A suicidal man used takeout food as a weapon against his sister, a PCSD report stated.

The sister told deputies that she'd been sitting at the kitchen table and eating takeout from Burger King. She'd been talking to her brother, and telling him to turn himself in for a crime he'd committed.

The brother got very upset, and then he reportedly said he just wanted to "end it all." The sister said her brother often made comments about killing himself when he was intoxicated (which he apparently was that night), but had never taken any measures to harm himself.

After she rebuked him for his statement about "ending it all," the sister said, her brother got angrier than ever. He allegedly picked up her hamburger and threw it at her extremely hard, hitting her left shoulder. Deputies saw that she still had food on her shirt.

Deputies were unable to locate the brother, who'd apparently fled the house on foot.

More by Anna Mirocha

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