HUNGRY AND HOT
SOUTH SPIDER ROCK ROAD, VAIL, JUNE 21, 4:55 P.M.
A mysterious break-in resulted in no known theft—just evidence of someone lounging in the air conditioning, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A deputy responding to a burglary call met with a man who said that he'd been checking on the house of a friend who was out of town. He said he noticed that two windows of the house were broken, and the thermostat was mysteriously set to 58 degrees. In the master bedroom, he said, he found an open bag of potato chips, and chips strewn all around the room.
The friend said that to his knowledge, nothing had been stolen. His friend's video and stereo equipment, the contents of a large safe and some high-value computer equipment were all still present.
The friend said he didn't think the burglar did anything but spend some time in the house while eating chips.
LAWFUL BUT AWFUL
GREEN VALLEY AREA, JUNE 22, 2:57 P.M.
A man became so impaired that he was arrested even though the substance he used was legal, a PCSD report stated.
A woman said her husband had started "acting crazy" that day after ingesting a lot of "bath salts," described as like a legal form of meth. She said he'd gone out to smoke that morning and hadn't returned for hours. Eventually, she said, she found him wandering around the front yard acting "out of it" and seeing nonexistent beings.
She said most people who use bath salts consume about a half-gram in a few days; her husband could do a gram in a day. She admitted using the substance herself, but said it just kept her "up."
She gave one reporting deputy some empty bath-salt containers; no listed ingredient is illegal in Arizona.
Another deputy apprehended the subject, who told the deputy that "there was a red car going up and down the street, and he had reason to believe his wife ... was having an affair." Presumably, he'd gotten angry, because he'd damaged one of his house's pillars as well as a flower pot. He claimed the red car was at that moment parked behind the deputy's patrol vehicle. It wasn't.
He admitted that earlier that day, he'd gotten lost in the desert, passed out and had to be brought home by some Border Patrol agents.
Besides other mischief, he'd reportedly damaged his wife's purse while searching for more bath salts.
The subject was arrested for domestic violence and criminal damage.