SOUTH SAN JOAQUIN ROAD
MARCH 22, 7:24 P.M.
A lovesick man claimed his married "girlfriend" assaulted him, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A deputy responded to a report of domestic assault in which the subject said his serious girlfriend of three years had shut her door on his legs.
The man told the deputy he'd been at his girlfriend's trailer—where she lived with her husband. She arrived after the man—and she was reportedly intoxicated and high on crack. She proceeded to scream at him, telling him to leave. She slapped him, he said, then slammed his legs in the motor-home door. He got upset, he said, and ended up "burning out" (driving away quickly while creating a large quantity of dust).
The man had a facial abrasion, allegedly from the slap, but had no injuries on his legs. He wanted to pursue assault charges "in hopes she could get some kind of help" for her drug addiction.
When the deputy interviewed the female subject, she said the man was just a friend, and he was "obsessed with her." She said she'd yelled at him to leave her residence because he was drunk, and that the cut on his face resulted from him tripping and falling. At no time, she said, had she assaulted him.
The woman's husband said the man was in love with his wife, and he was "just an old, bizarre man." The husband said that after the man left the couple's property, he stopped his car and repeatedly yelled at the wife, "I love you!"
Apparently, nobody was charged with a crime.
BASEBALL FAN BURGLAR?
WEST WETMORE ROAD
MARCH 21, 5:57 P.M.
A man with unusual taste in interior design met with odd evidence of a home invasion, a PCSD report stated.
A homeowner said he'd been gone overnight and returned to find one window partially open. He noticed that a picture frame containing several baseball cards, worth $100 to $150, was missing. Underneath that frame had been several bowling T-shirts he'd nailed to the wall as decorations. One of the shirts had been removed, he said, and placed on the couch.
The homeowner said that while later flipping through a hotrod magazine, he noticed a notepad on his end table had strange handwriting on it. It read, "Gem Realty, San Diego Rentals, Mark Arnold." The resident said he believed the intruder had used a phone and jotted down the notes—and then forgot the pad.
Nothing else had apparently been stolen. The reporting deputy could not obtain fingerprints, and the homeowner had no leads on the intruder's identity.