Police Dispatch

Southern Exposure

Boxer shorts
Boxer shorts
Southern Exposure
North Highland Avenue
June 18, 4:19 p.m.

A man wearing pants with a big hole "down there" may or may not have exposed himself to a woman in what may or may not have been a purposeful act, a University of Arizona Police Department report stated.

A UA officer responded to the Science and Engineering Library, 744 N. Highland Ave., where the information supervisor told him a young female student in the building had reported that a male sitting next to her in the public computer area had "turned toward her and exposed himself."

Seeing that a man matching the supervisor's description was still sitting at a computer, the officer made contact and requested his ID—learning he wasn't a UA student—and immediately noticed the subject had a hole in his jeans "right in the penis area."

The hole was pretty wide—about two inches in diameter—but at this point the cop couldn't see the man's genitals through it, only some fabric of some very colorful boxer shorts. But, the officer's notes suggested, the main reason he "could not see his penis" was because the subject was sitting in a chair.

Apparently the subject didn't see the gaping hole in his pants as a problem, misidentifying the issue as a less-than-ideal, perhaps tacky, choice of underwear—since immediately upon the officer's approach, he "became agitated and kept saying over and over he will get new boxers."

When the female victim was interviewed, she said she often came to this building to use the computers, and for the last two weeks she'd repeatedly seen the subject there. She'd often been forced to sit next to him when no other seats were available, she said, and although he hadn't ever tried to talk to her, "he would wave his arms as if trying to get her attention."

Today, she said, she'd ignored his arm-waving for as long as she could, but eventually she'd looked over at him—only to see the large hole in the crotch of his pants (apparently at this point he'd stood up). She admitted she hadn't definitely seen his penis ... she "was unsure because she has very poor eyesight."

The reporting officer knew the crotchless-pants-wearing man from previous contact with him regarding trouble on campus, though at that time he'd been wearing neither distressingly distressed trousers nor indecently tacky underwear. Since he'd already caused problems on UA property, he was given an exclusionary order banning him from all campus libraries for six months; then he was free to go. The report didn't specify whether he was given another pair of pants before being released back out among the public. ■

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