Police Dispatch

Pierced-Penis Perp

Oro Valley

June 18, 10:30 p.m.

A woman's neighbor subjected her to a kind of reverse-peeping-Tom situation, sneaking around her house and trying to make her look at him through her windows—specifically at his bejeweled genitalia, according to an Oro Valley Police Department report.

When an OVPD officer came to the victim's house to speak with her, she told him the past two nights a male neighbor had come into her yard and exposed himself to her.

She said he'd been an acquaintance, but she became wary of him several months ago, when he'd started acting inappropriate around her—for example, asking her "if she wanted to see his penis ring." After that, she said, she'd emailed him requesting he not come to her house or try to hang out with her anymore.

He'd complied, she said, until a couple nights ago when he wordlessly and without warning approached the front of her house and "exposed his penis to her" through one of the small viewing windows next to her front door (which were of course actually meant to serve the safety of the home's inhabitants). Afterward she again emailed the neighbor and told him to stop this behavior or she'd call the police.

But the very next night, she said, he'd come back to again stand pantsless in front of the little windows by her door, this time staying there for several minutes while obviously "pulling on his penis." She declined to press charges over the exposure but wanted the man officially trespassed from her property.

The reporting officer went to the subject's residence, finding him at home and willing to be interviewed, though he initially claimed to have no idea why the police were there. Told this was regarding a recent incident with his female neighbor, the man immediately admitted he'd been drinking one night and went to her house to make her look at his penis through her window. Pressed about possibly having done anything else, he admitted he'd "'played with himself,' referring to him masturbating in front of her window."

Asked if he'd ever been diagnosed with dementia or other psychological issues that might've contributed to his recent behavior, he said no, he was simply "being drunk and stupid." He was apparently referring to both times he'd exposed himself—especially considering he also looked, acted and smelled like he'd been drinking quite a lot throughout his interaction with the officer.

Told that the reportee wanted him banned from her property, her pierced-penis persecutor agreed not to be a problem. ■

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