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Police Dispatch 

From Sink to Precinct

North Park Ave.

April 20, 9:38 p.m.

A man was interrupted in the middle of a bold attempt to get the full-bath experience (complete with bubbles!) using a public restroom's hand-washing sink, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

One evening—as it happens, around the time many people bathe—a campus policeman was called to the UA's Park Student Union, 615 N. Park Ave., regarding a suspicious male in the building. He soon located the subject inside the second-floor men's restroom "bathing in the sink," as the officer put it. He didn't say whether he saw the man trying to actually sit in the sink but did describe "soap lather all over his chest (and) both of his arms" and said the man's pants had been pulled all the way down.

Told to dress, the subject followed the cop out of the restroom and waited for him to perform a background check, which revealed he had a warrant out for his arrest as well as that he'd previously been arrested for what the report termed "the same behavior," apparently referring to previous incident in which this same man had been trying to take an actual bath in a UA building's sink. (Hey, at least he hadn't tried to use a one of the urinals—also known as a "vertical bathtub.")

The man was arrested on his warrant and banned from UA property.

More by Anna Mirocha

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