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SOLO FOOD FIGHT

EAST BENSON HIGHWAY

DEC. 3, 7:37 P.M.

A drunk young man threw food after arguing over who would cook dinner, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A caller said his intoxicated 23-year-old son had been throwing food before stabbing the floor with a butcher knife—and was now using that knife to cut vegetables.

The caller's girlfriend said she'd announced she was making dinner for her boyfriend when the subject (the boyfriend's son, who was staying in their trailer) complained she never made him dinner—and then he said he wanted to make her dinner. She said she decided not to make dinner and retreated to her room, at which point she heard the subject yelling he would "kick (her boyfriend's) ass."

The boyfriend said his son had been on the couch eating a burrito when he suddenly went to the refrigerator and began pitching items and yelling. He also reportedly threw a butcher knife.

Deputies found the subject near the trailer; he was wearing extremely baggy pants covered in zippers—by which one deputy grabbed him as he tried to escape. En route to jail, he accused deputies of abusing him.


FROG THIEVES

EAST SKYLINE DRIVE

DEC. 2, 4:26 P.M.

Two women stole odd items, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

An employee at AJ's Fine Foods, 2805 E. Skyline Drive, said two females approached the store's outside display area. The younger one grabbed two lawn ornaments, and both women fled.

Law enforcement was able to obtain an address using their vehicle's license-plate number; however, the address did not actually exist.


WONDER WHAT HIS OTHER UNIT IS CALLED

UA AREA

DEC. 11, 12:48 A.M.

A young man had an unusual name for his marijuana pipe, a UA Police Department report stated.

While driving eastbound down Sixth Street, a UA officer observed four individuals walking; one person was smoking something from a pipe. One individual admitted he'd bought a "20 sack" and smoked two bowls of it.

As he was receiving a citation, he informed the officer that "his pipe had a name, and the name was Herpes." He then told the officer "not to worry, because it's not contagious."

He was cited and released. "Herpes" was entered into property as evidence.

More by Anna Mirocha

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