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Police Dispatch 

He Woke Up Like That

UA Area

Nov. 25, 9:46 a.m.

A University of Arizona student was frightened by a disheveled-looking guy in a bathrobe "sneaking" around campus with a bag full of Ramen noodles, according to a UA Police Department report.

A UA officer responded to the second floor of the Main Library, 1510 E. University Blvd., where he interviewed the young female reportee. She told him she'd been walking toward the library when she noticed she was being followed by a Caucasian male with "dark, somewhat messy" hair (described as dreadlocks), and wearing a blue and red robe—apparently some kind of bathrobe—as if he'd just gotten out of bed and stepped outside like that. (It was a little after 9 in the morning.)

She said as he was behind her, the man kept "sneaking behind bushes or shrubs" while simultaneously trying to speak to her. She didn't want to engage with him, she said, but even though she ignored him, "he began to speak loudly in what sounded to her like a different language because she did not understand what he was saying." That's when she quickly entered the library and called the UAPD, fleeing upstairs.

The man had followed her inside but stayed on the ground floor, where the reporting officer soon found him standing at a phone-charging station (this man also had dark, unkempt hair, though the officer described it as resembling an "afro" rather than dreadlocks). The subject had a duffle bag and blanket with him.

He denied that he'd been talking to anyone outside and, unprompted, opened his duffle bag to show the officer it was full of packages of Ramen noodles. He said he didn't want to talk to the officer, admitting he was wanted on "two warrants with money attached" but he'd rather take care of them on his own, asking, "Why do you want my ... name? Is it to arrest me? Why can't I just go deal with it later? I will leave now."

Unfortunately for him, the officer was obligated to arrest him on the warrants (one for disorderly conduct and one for criminal trespassing) and handcuffed him. In one of his pockets was found a glass pipe with residue inside and burn marks on the outside, which the subject admitted was his, saying "he used it for his addiction." Asked to be more specific on what he meant by "addiction," the man became more agitated and simply yelled, "My addiction!" The officer didn't ask him any more questions.

The robed, messy-haired man was taken to jail and booked on his warrants and one new charge (drug-paraphernalia possession). The officer told him "the jail would not accept his Ramen noodles," so he agreed to let them be thrown in the trash.

More by Anna Mirocha

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