San Xavier beat
Oct. 6, 10:26 p.m.
A "very mad" property owner called the cops on a strange man and his girlfriend who'd allegedly assailed him in his backyard—but according to the girlfriend, it was the caller who was strange (though in a different sense of the word) and who'd actually assailed them, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
When the reportee called PCSD dispatch, he said he'd just been "attacked in his own yard" by a male stranger who was now "hiding with a female somewhere." He said he didn't need an ambulance while simultaneously claiming his life was in danger; he then told the call-taker, "Take your time" before abruptly hanging up.
A sheriff's deputy responded to his property in a rural area on the southwest side, where the reportee lived in a small trailer. Asked what happened, he said he'd been assaulted, declaring, "It's pretty obvious!" while lifting up his shorts to reveal a scraped knee.
He said he "did not know" who'd beaten him up (resulting in this scraped knee) and couldn't describe the perp's clothing, though he did say it was a male accompanied by his girlfriend, and that they'd both retreated to the back of his property. He implied that they'd broken into his backyard.
Leaving the reportee temporarily, the officer walked behind the trailer until he reached the next lot, where he found a woman standing near a small house. This woman said she lived in the house with her boyfriend, asserting they were no strangers to the man in the trailer, who definitely knew them as his longtime neighbors (although she seemed to think he didn't like them much).
That night, she said, her boyfriend and the reportee had indeed been in some kind of scuffle—but she said it was the neighbor who'd started it, and she and her boyfriend had not broken into his yard.
Getting more specific, she said her boyfriend had been "in the area between their residences" when the reportee had started to throw "their" dishes" around. (There were no details available as to how or why he might've been in possession of their dishes.) Her boyfriend then allegedly said to him, "Is that how you want to do it?" and the two men began arguing. She hadn't witnessed their whole encounter, she admitted, but she said she never saw her boyfriend committing any type of violence against the neighbor.
She said the boyfriend was now at the store but assured the deputy she'd have him call the PCSD upon his return.
When the deputy got back to the reportee's trailer and told him the neighbors claimed he did know them, he angrily said that nevertheless he "feared for his life" because of their behavior; in addition, he now wanted an ambulance.
Upon the ambulance's arrival, the EMTs said they could bring him to the hospital, but he'd be discharged immediately because his injuries consisted of...well, a scraped knee.
After getting angry with EMTs, saying "they were not helping him just like (the deputy) was not helping him," he stormed off without looking back. Luckily the deputy didn't have to chase after him because this was just after he'd managed to give him the incident's case number.