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Police Dispatch 

An Ass Exposed

North Tyndall Avenue

Sept. 19, 9:43 a.m.

A man strolling the University of Arizona campus wearing no pants (or underpants) didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that, according to a UA Police Department report.

A woman working in an office at the Árbol de la Vida Residence Hall, 515 N. Tyndall Ave., reported seeing a "half-naked man"—wearing a shirt but nothing at all on his bottom half—pacing beneath a window of the building. She said he'd passed her window four or five times and walking back and forth along Sixth Street "making strange sounds."

She was advised to close her blinds until someone arrived to help.

Responding to the scene, two UA officers had no trouble finding the man, who was now simply standing on the sidewalk facing Sixth Street. As they approached him, "he did not make an attempt to cover up his genitalia."

Officers immediately handcuffed the man. Looking behind a nearby pillar, one officer found some pieces of garbage and clothing that apparently belonged to the subject: one additional shirt as well as a pair of denim pants in tatters, with pieces of the fabric taped together with blue duct tape.

The officers allowed the man to put the jeans on, but since "his genitalia was still exposed through the jeans," one officer also tied the other shirt around his waist by the sleeves, with the main part of the shirt facing front. This covered the man's private parts enough that they felt safe escorting him to their patrol vehicle, where they put him in the back seat and took him to Pima County Jail.

At the jail, one officer read the man his rights and asked if he understood, to which he replied, "No." When asked what part of his right he didn't understand, he said, "I am being a smart-ass."

"At this point," reported the officer, "I did not attempt to read him the rights again and did not ask him any questions."

The man was booked on a charge of indecent exposure and given a 12-month exclusionary order from all UA property. The report mentioned no drugs or mental illness on the part of the subject.

More by Anna Mirocha

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