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Police Dispatch 

Grandstander Near the Grandstands

North Vine Avenue

Sept. 1, 10:36 a.m.

A woman working before a football game was the unhappy witness of a very happy-looking man who gave her an objectionable eyeful of him masturbating, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

A UA officer met with the reportee near the Arizona Stadium, 540 N. Vine Ave., where she told him she'd been working in the parking lot, overseeing the placement of parking barricades for the football game scheduled to take place at the stadium that day. She said the subject—a lone man in his 20s—pulled up near her in a white sedan and waved her over to him, asking where he could find event parking.

As she approached his car, she said, a large grin spread across his face, and she saw plainly through his rolled-down window that he was wearing no pants or underwear and in fact was clutching his penis in his hand. Although she couldn't remember whether or not his penis was erect, she did see that "he was moving his hand up and down it."

He reportedly didn't say a single word more to her once she'd seen through his window—after grinning at her for a short time, she said, he just slowly drove away.

She told the officer she didn't want to press charges against the man but altruistically "wanted to make (the UAPD) aware of the incident so it didn't happen to anyone else."

Besides, after seeing what she saw through his car window, she said, she'd been so shocked she could remember little of what he looked like besides that he had short, dark hair and was "wearing a shirt that wasn't a tank top." She said she doubted she could help with a composite sketch of the subject and was only half-sure she could identify him again if she saw him in real life. There were no other witnesses of the incident.

The woman's supervisors were notified of the incident and the officer explained there were resources available should she need therapeutic support. She "declined medical and psychological attention at the scene."

More by Anna Mirocha

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