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Police Dispatch 

Fowl Play

San Xavier Beat

June 10, 5:21 p.m.

A foxy thief gutted someone's henhouse, somehow managing to round up and haul away a large number of chickens during broad daylight just feet away from the unsuspecting owner, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A west-side resident told a sheriff's deputy that while she was going about her business inside her home that day—apparently during a span of two hours or less—someone sneaked into her yard and stole all the chickens from a coop installed right outside her house. Although she didn't specify how many were missing—the report simply listed them as "STOLEN ITEM: $200 worth of chickens—she lost a notable number of birds. (With knowledge of Craigslist Tucson chicken pricing, one may calculate there were at least 10 but very possibly more than two dozen foul.)

The reportee said the crime must've occurred sometime between 3 and 5 p.m., since the coop's misters had been functional at 3 and she noticed they'd stopped working around 5, when she went outside to find her coop empty. The door was hanging open, she said, but there were no other signs of a property invader or clues as to how they'd collected and transported all those birds. She reported hearing nothing from the yard and had no ideas regarding a suspect.

The deputy gave her a victim's-rights pamphlet but could do little else without any leads. At least the victim seemed not to be personally attached to any of the individual animals, since she hadn't counted her chickens at all.

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