LATER-LIFE CRISIS
WEST RUTHRAUFF ROAD
JAN. 25, 2:12 P.M.
An elderly man in a flashy sports car was the alleged perpetrator of extreme road rage, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The reportee of the incident said he had passed a yellow Corvette, apparently angering the Corvette's driver. The Corvette allegedly sped up and passed the reportee dangerously on the road's dirt shoulder, then proceeded to alternately accelerate and slam on the brakes in front of the reportee's car. When the reportee pulled up next to the yellow Corvette at a stoplight, he could see that the driver was a Caucasian male, approximately 70 years old.
The reportee said the older man rolled down his car window and made motions requesting a conversation. Since the two were driving the only cars on the road at the time, the reportee exited his own vehicle and approached the Corvette, where, he said, the senior began to lecture him on proper driving etiquette. Then, all of a sudden, the old man purportedly punched the reportee hard in the mouth through the window.
At that point, he said, he informed his assailant that he was going to call the police; the elderly man reportedly retorted, "Go ahead!" and sped off.
When deputies made contact with the subject, he denied the punch, insisting he had merely been trying to push the man away.
Neither party was cited.
WITH POLICE LIKE THAT, WHO NEEDS BURGLARS?
WEST CALLE FRESA
JAN. 26, 3:38 A.M.
A prowler referring to himself as "the police" surreptitiously reorganized the belongings of a northwest-side couple, a PCSD report stated.
The female of the affected household said she woke up that night to the sound of banging on metal, at which point she got out of bed and saw the beam of a flashlight making its way up her dark hallway. She then saw that the flashlight was held by a male dressed in dark, nondescript clothing.
"What's happening?" she asked the male, to which he reportedly replied, "I'm the police," before proceeding down the hallway into the shadows. The intruder wore nothing to identify him as a law-enforcement officer, she said.
Upon searching the property, deputies found nothing missing. In the husband's storage shed, however, they found that someone had rifled through items and deposited numerous tools in a white bucket on the floor. Items in the wife's sewing room had also been moved around, but nothing seemed to be missing. Deputies found a miniature crowbar on the property but no signs of forced entry.
