Police Dispatch

Opinion Hazards

The librarian is not a stripper.

University Blvd., April 24, 1:55 p.m.

A man had an interaction with a young female college student that anyone—except him—would deem not OK, to say the least, then argued with law enforcement about other things most people would consider objective (like the color of his shoes), according to a UA Police Department report.

A UA officer was called to the Main Library, 1510 E. University Blvd., to meet a non-student male—described as about 50 years old, wearing black pants, brown boots and a brown striped shirt—who'd had an incident with a coed.

Outside the library, the officer stopped a man matching the description, recognizing him from a previous incident in which he'd been "disruptive."

The man immediately started arguing with the officer, saying he didn't match the description because his shoes weren't brown, but "beige," and the cops were "picking on him," then became agitated, sometimes refusing to acknowledge the officer.

When confronted about the incident with the female student, he said, "That girl?" and then explained he'd been "talking to a female who had mentioned something about an appointment later and 'stripping.'"

His story was difficult to understand because he was speaking softly and "his train of thought did not appear to keep on track"—but he concluded by saying, "I only touched her legs" and that this action was "not trespassing on her." As the officer pressed the issue, the man continued insisting that touching a female's legs without permission "was not considered assault" (by him, sure).

The victim confirmed to officers that this was the man who'd touched her, but since she didn't want to participate in judicial proceedings regarding the incident, he wasn't arrested. He was, however, issued an exclusionary order barring him from UA property. The subject said he understood the order ... although this time he didn't explain what his "understanding" consisted of.

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