NORTH POSITANO WAY
OCT. 23, 2:29 P.M.
A disoriented man spun a tale about a nude romp through the desert, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
A Tucson homeowner said he answered a knock on his door to find a Caucasian male sitting on his front walkway—wearing nothing but a towel. The man was muttering strange things, many of which were indecipherable. He seemed to be saying he had been bitten by a snake and attacked by some men. He also mentioned that he "ate something this morning."
When a deputy appeared, the subject jumped over a fence and ran away.
After a long chase, the subject was apprehended and brought to a hospital, where he was questioned. He said he had gone to Lowe's Home Improvement earlier in the day, and someone had sabotaged his motorcycle, so he decided to take a jog through the desert for exercise. On the way, he said, he was attacked by some Hispanic males, who hit him on the head, took his wallet and "cut his clothes off him into little pieces," after which he ran into a wash to hide. He said he found the towel he was wearing in the desert. He also said his jaw was broken and that there had been snakes "put up (his) butt."
While he was being examined by medical personnel, the subject began yelling odd things, such as, "Don't leave; go to work," and, "Don't put it up my butt."
The subject's mother later located his motorcycle in the Lowe's parking lot, where she also found his clothing, wallet and receipts for items that had been bought (and immediately returned) at Lowe's.
The subject was apparently not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He sustained no injuries other than scratches consistent with running naked through the desert.
HANDCUFFS ARE MIGHTIER
SOUTH MELODY AVENUE
OCT. 25, 8:44 P.M.
According to a PCSD report, a drunk man was arrested after possessing a lethal but old-fashioned weapon—a sword.
The man's live-in girlfriend reported that she had been woken up that evening by the sound of her boyfriend stealing her truck keys, at which point she told him he could not drive, because he was apparently drunk—and he did not have a driver's license. The boyfriend began to curse and yell, accusing her of cheating on him. He then grabbed a sword from inside the house (but did not threaten her with it) and went into the backyard.
Questioned by deputies, the subject denied ownership of the sword; however, it was soon found hidden behind some cinder blocks in the yard.
The man was arrested for disorderly conduct.