ORANGE JUMPSUIT AWAITS
EAST YVON DRIVE
AUG. 13, 11:56 P.M.
A man decided to run naked through the streets, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
The reporting deputy arrived in the subject's neighborhood to find him entirely naked—"not wearing shoes or anything"—and cupping his genitalia in his hands as he stood in front of a female homeowner's living-room windows. When asked to approach the deputy's car, the subject stood immobile and stated he was naked. The deputy said he knew he was naked, and the subject eventually approached the vehicle.
The subject said he didn't know what had gotten into him—he just "got in the mood and felt like streaking." It was all so natural, he said, even though he had never done it before.
After being put in the patrol vehicle, the subject went off on a tangent, saying the deputy "was not on the same level as him" and was "arrogant to the reasons he would be doing this." He said he was running around naked "for love and for freedom."
He then explained that he felt free at the start of his nude journey, but he soon began to feel frightened. He became convinced he was going to get raped, so he ran to the nearest house and asked the resident to call 911.
The subject insisted he was in his right mind. He did appear to be completely sober.
He was arrested for indecent exposure.
OLD BUT BOLD
WEST ORANGE GROVE ROAD
AUG. 14, 3:39 P.M.
A senior citizen assaulted a younger man for insulting his age, a PCSD report said.
Deputies dispatched to an apartment-complex parking lot met with a young man in a Superman T-shirt, a young woman in a PetSmart uniform and an older man dressed in black.
The young man said he'd parked his motorcycle in the space beside his girlfriend's car while he was trying to fix the car. A vehicle later revved its engine near him—the driver apparently wanted the space where the motorcycle was—so he moved his motorcycle and continued to work on the car. After the older man parked, the younger man said he called the couple "pieces of shit" and said they had no respect for elders. The younger man retorted by calling him an "old man."
Later, the young man said, the older man approached him, said, "Who's an old man now?" and punched him in the face.
The older man admitted he punched the younger man, saying he'd never liked the couple, because they lived above him and had a loud dog. He said that when he was called an old man, he "wanted to show the young boy what an old man was all about."
The man was cited for assault.