Police Dispatch 

Awesome! (Not.)

click to enlarge When I see you smile, I can face the world

When I see you smile, I can face the world

East First Street

Sept. 30, 11:55 p.m.

A sorority girl had a totally inappropriate response to being caught drinking illegally, showing that either (a) she hadn't learned anything from the experience, or (b) she was too drunk to get it, said a University of Arizona Police Department report.

A UA officer patrolling near the Alpha Delta Pi sorority house, 1443 E. First Street, stopped an obviously drunk female having difficulty navigating the sidewalk. With glassy eyes and slurred speech, reeking of liquor, she matter-of-factly admitted her last police interaction had been two weeks ago; asked the reason for it, she said simply, "My mom" (apparently seeing no reason for elaboration).

Not bothering to lie, the girl confirmed she'd just been consuming alcohol—a strange guy had given her a "surprise drink"—and said she was 18, aware that the legal drinking age was 21.

When the cop said he was busting her for underage drinking, she responded, without irony, "Awesome."

As he "explained the (dangers of) accepting drinks from am unknown person," all she did was grin at him.

In fact, she didn't stop smiling throughout the rest of their interaction, even as she signed the citation he wrote her. The young woman "didn't appear to take the situation or its safety concerns seriously," the officer noted.

More by Anna Mirocha


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