Police Dispatch

Inappropriate Action, Appropriate Reaction

East First Street

Sept. 30, 3:20 p.m.

An intoxicated collegiate had an amusingly elementary response when a cop caught him with his pants (partially) down, according to a UAPD report.

One afternoon, a UA officer patrolling campus saw a shirtless young man standing a few feet from the door of a sorority house—and, in the other direction, a few feet from a sidewalk—with "both hands near his groin" and a "stream of liquid visible from his groin area to (a) shrub."

The officer walked up behind the man, who smelled like alcohol. After peeing he turned around, saw the cop, and blurted out simply, "Oh no."

In an equally simple manner, the officer explained how urinating outside in broad daylight "placed him in view of passing pedestrians and vehicles."

Since he had no warrants, was of legal drinking age and was a registered student, he was (simply) cited and released for criminal littering.

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