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IN SHED WITH ANOTHER MAN

NORTHWEST SIDE

JUNE 8, 12:08 A.M.

A couple got into a domestic dispute when the boyfriend caught the girlfriend cheating on him—in a neighbor's shed, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

The boyfriend told law enforcement that earlier that night, he had entered a neighbor's backyard and opened the door of the shed to find his girlfriend having sex with the shed's owner. Soon after, he said, someone swung at him in the dark, and he swung back.

Back at their trailer, the couple began screaming at each other; the boyfriend said the girlfriend "broke his shit"—specifically a now-headless Joker bobblehead doll. When he went to his bedroom on the opposite end of the trailer from hers, she followed him and scratched him, drawing blood. He said she must have been upset that he called her a "shed fucker."

Asked whether he'd had intercourse with the girlfriend, the neighbor admitted "relatively having sex." He said the subject had punched the girlfriend upon finding them in the act.

The girlfriend said her boyfriend called her a "skanky bitch," spit on her and threatened to kill her dogs.

Both girlfriend and boyfriend were arrested for domestic violence.


PROBABLY WON'T GET A GOOD REFERENCE

EAST FORT LOWELL ROAD

JUNE 8, 10 P.M.

A recently fired woman sat idle while her incensed friends exacted violent revenge on her ex-boss, according to a PCSD report.

The woman's former employer, the owner of an elder-care home, reported that a female employee she had just fired arrived at the door unannounced that day and asked for her last paycheck. The reportee told her the check was not ready yet, and that she would get it to her as soon as possible. The ex-employee then went to her car.

A large, angry-looking male emerged from the car, approached the reportee and her husband, and struck her husband on the jaw with a tape recorder, which broke into pieces.

Shortly after, a female exited the car, grabbed rocks from the driveway, and started flinging them at the reportee, her husband and two elder-care home residents—all the while screaming obscenities. After yelling at and spitting on the husband, she went back to the car, grabbed a massive piece of wood—apparently a tree branch—and began swinging it at all four victims, hitting the reportee in the shoulder and shins. Finally, the woman grabbed a can and threw it at the reportee's head.

Asked by deputies why she did what she did, the can-thrower said she was just "so pissed" that her friend was not paid "right now." She admitted she had been "an out of control, immature, asinine asshole."

Both assailants were arrested for assault.

More by Anna Mirocha

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