POSSIBLY TIME TO QUIT
WEST VALENCIA ROAD
MARCH 20, 2:58 P.M.
A scrupulous nicotine user ferociously refused to tolerate less-than-fresh tobacco despite his apparent desperation for a smoke, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.
A cashier at the Circle K at 4605 W. Valencia Road told a sheriff's deputy that a short, bald, middle-age Caucasian male had entered the store earlier that day. He quickly bought some rolling tobacco, she said, and left the store without incident.
About five minutes later, however, the subject came back into the store, acting belligerent and yelling at the reportee. "This tobacco is fucking stale!" he yelled, demanding a refund. When the cashier explained that she could not give refunds for products that had been removed from the store, he became even more belligerent. "This is fucking stupid! I wanna speak to your fucking manager!"
The cashier informed him that the manager was not present but that he could speak with him tomorrow, at which point the male continued to cuss at her, repeating, "Fuck this!" and, "Fuck that!" and, "This is fucking stupid!" He then grabbed the package of tobacco he had purchased, opened it and dumped its contents all over the store's counter. He stormed off and drove away in a white pickup truck.
The reportee was able to provide law enforcement with the man's license-plate number; deputies were waiting for a copy of the surveillance video at the time of the report.
AN EMBARRASSMENT TO REAL SHOPLIFTERS
NORTH THORNYDALE ROAD
MARCH 16, 11:40 A.M.
A self-identified "badass" ran away in tears after trying to steal a cartful of groceries, according to a PCSD report.
A sheriff's deputy arrived at the Bashas' grocery store at 8360 N. Thornydale Road and spoke with the store manager, who said a Caucasian female walked in and spent quite a lot of time walking through the store and piling her cart high with groceries. Instead of going through the checkout line and paying for the items, however, she boldly pushed the cart straight out the door.
At this point, the manager said, he came up behind her and grabbed her wrist. She began to scream loudly, crying that he was hurting her, so he let go. She then ran off to her car, a white Ford Taurus station wagon with a bumper sticker reading "Bad Ass Bitch."
The merchandise, left in the cart with the manager when the subject fled, was valued at $478.66. The subject was identified through her license-plate number, and her apprehension was pending at the time of the report.