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No Reserve

San Xavier Beat

Aug. 12, 8:46 a.m.

When a man was accused stealing a can of Steel Reserve from a convenience store, he denied the theft while simultaneously accusing someone else of stealing his can of Steel Reserve, apparently unaware that seemed in any way suspicious, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

At about 9:30 a.m.. two sheriff's deputies reported to a southeast-side Circle K, where the clerk told one of them a 30-year-old male had entered, walked straight to the beer cooler, and put a 42-ounce can of Steel Reserve malt liquor down the front of his jeans. With the large, cold can still in his pants, she said, he then walked right up to her at the counter "to inquire about purchasing alcohol." She said when she asked for his identification, he pretty much lost it, getting very upset—but eventually providing it. When she returned his ID, she reported, he simply exited the store... with the beer still in his pants, unpaid for. A surveillance video confirmed this story.

Meanwhile the other deputy was outside, where the subject was pacing back and forth, "throwing trash around" and generally acting unhinged near a bus stop—still right in front of the Circle K (which he hadn't even attempted to flee after stealing the beer). As the cop approached, he was digging through a trash can while arguing with a random couple sitting at the stop, cussing and accusing them of stealing his malt liquor.

Asked what was going on, the man was "irate," first proclaiming that he hadn't stolen any beer from the store and then repeating over and over that the couple at the bus-stop bench had stolen his beer (obviously not thinking about whether the general public shared his taste for malt liquor at 9 in the morning.) He also kept yelling that he'd just gotten out of jail.

And then he went right back to jail, brought in by both deputies as he struggled and cussed.

More by Anna Mirocha

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