Police Dispatch

Bullets vs. Pebbles

West Coriander Drive, Jan. 4, 9:42 a.m.

An evidently hallucinating man used rocks to defend himself against perceived gunshots, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies arrived at the scene and met with a homeowner who described seeing a middle-aged male with a crew cut knocking on the door of a neighbor's house, yelling at the building and then throwing small rocks at it. The deputies found the man sitting in the back yard with a bag of Budweiser cans. It was not clear whether anyone resided at the property.

Asked about his recent activities, the subject laughed and said he had been walking home from a party when someone started shooting at him from the house at which he was now stationed, so he began throwing rocks at the shooter. Then, he said, a girl had whistled him over to the house and he entered the back yard to meet his "girlfriend."

Then the subject changed his story, saying he had in fact been returning from a wedding when a car pulled up near him and someone inside began shooting at him. Later, he said, three sisters approached him in the street and said they wanted to have sex with him. Then he observed an African American female who had "the neck of a goat."

As he spoke, the subject became increasingly emotional, crying, laughing and getting angry in turns. He was handcuffed; his possessions, primarily an address book and $1.25 in quarters, were confiscated. Though he could not describe who had allegedly been shooting at him, and no gunshots had been heard in the area, he wanted the shooter arrested. He declared it "ridiculous" that he was being arrested for throwing rocks.

Flunking Romance 101

South Perlita Road, Jan. 2, 9:37 a.m.

A possibly heartbroken college student caused a ruckus at home after he broke up with his female professor, a PCSD report said.

Sheriff's deputies met with the subject's sister, who reported that her 24-year-old sibling had been fighting with their father and breaking things, ripping a door down and throwing dishes and an entire table. Then he recovered and went to his bedroom.

The subject told deputies that he had just culminated an "intimate relationship" with one of his teachers at the University of Arizona. All the faculty members at the school, he said, were "giving him dirty looks" and he was afraid that unless he got a lawyer, he was going to fail college because none of the teachers liked him. The fight that night had started when his parents told him he did not have a problem and did not need legal representation. After he began breaking cups, plates and miscellaneous objects, his mother threatened to remove the door from his room. He admitted to assisting her by ripping the door off the frame and breaking the hinges.

The subject was arrested for domestic violence.

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