Police Dispatch

Intolerance Reinvented

West Leafwing Drive, Dec. 4, 3:16 p.m.

A northwest-side homeowner who apparently worships the sun hurled verbal abuse at his deer-hunting neighbor, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The reportee stated that his across-the-street neighbor had been outside talking to some children on bicycles when the reportee's car alarm started going off. This agitated the neighbor, and he began yelling obscenities from across the street, saying, "Why don't you assholes make some more noise and kill some more animals?!" (This statement was apparently in reference to several deer antlers that the reportee had in his garage.)

The reportee told the neighbor that he didn't want any problems, but the neighbor continued to yell and call the reportee and his companion names, adding, "Maybe I ought to kill you and cut your antlers off." After being told to stay on his side of the street, he crossed just to spite his neighbor and then walked back toward his house.

The reporting deputy went to the neighbor's house, which had a "For Sale" sign in front of it. Instead of blinds covering the windows, he noticed, there were pieces of jagged cardboard with the statement, "Sun is God," written all over them. The deputy knocked on the door about a dozen times, but nobody answered, despite the fact that the deputy could hear voices and water running inside the residence.

The deputy called the phone number on the "For Sale" sign and spoke with the Realtor, who explained that the subject practiced an "alternative lifestyle." The deputy promised the reportee he would cite his neighbor for disorderly conduct and threats.

Labor-Saving Idea

West Continental Road, Green Valley, Dec. 1, 3:19 p.m.

A shoplifter with a dubious method was apprehended after an alleged month of surprising success, a PCSD report stated.

A deputy reported to True Value Hardware, 220 W. Continental Road, where the owner described an individual who had come into the store approximately 12 times within the last four weeks. He believed this man was walking into the store, taking items from the shelves, walking around with them and then bringing them to the cashier for a refund without a receipt. That day, he said, he confronted the man when he tried to return a drill bit and some razor blades; the man left the store with a hurried step.

The deputy located the subject, who at first denied all wrongdoing, and then--informed that his actions had been caught by a surveillance camera--insisted that today was the only day he'd stolen anything. Confronted about approximately 25 batteries he had returned--identified through their barcodes as stolen--he said simply, "I don't know what to tell you."

The man was cited for shoplifting.

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