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In Need of a Piggybank

North Kain Ave., July 20, 9:26 p.m.

A large sum of cash was apparently no help to a mother of three in a bad situation, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies were called to a trailer-park residence by a man named Mario, who had just left the residence through the window. He stated that the people inside--his friend and the friend's female partner--had been plotting to kill him.

Entering the residence, a deputy discovered two toddlers, a 5-year-old and a cigarette pack filled with large bills, a Q-tip, an ID and two baggies of what appeared to be methamphetamine.

The deputy then contacted the lady of the house, who stated that the cigarette pack, money and ID were hers, but not the drugs--those must belong to Mario, she said. She explained that she had just received a large settlement, $2,000 of which was inside the cigarette pack, and that the cigarette pack had been in the bedroom with Mario before he jumped out the window. Asked why she didn't check inside the cigarette pack after retrieving it, she said it "looked the same" and she "did not pay much attention." The reporting deputy told her that if he'd had $2,000 in a cigarette pack, he would check to see if it was all there.

The trailer was in extreme disarray, with dirty diapers on top of the refrigerator and not much edible food inside of it. The female subject explained that since she had received the settlement, she and the family had been eating at McDonald's, because she'd never had money before and did not know what to do with it or how to buy groceries.

The cash was counted several times and reportedly amounted to $18,000 in $100 bills.

Mario and the female subject's partner were arrested for drug possession; the cash was returned to the female after she proved it indeed came from a settlement.


The Word Is 'Shat'

West Knollside Street, July 13, 8:15 a.m.

A quiet married couple were apparently the targets of a dirty practical joke, according to a PCSD report.

The couple called the Sheriff's Department to state that the screen door of their residence had been smeared with "human excrement, or 'poop,'" and that excrement had been piled on top of the door handle. In addition, they had found "gang-style" writing scrawled on the window of their Ford Explorer. It read: "You ben shit on! Rally night baby."

The couple said that over the past week, they had noticed that some things in their backyard had been moved around. They said they usually keep to themselves and did not know who would want to harass them.

They requested periodic checks on the residence by law enforcement.

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