Police Dispatch

Blow: It's What's for Dinner

UA Area, July 19, 4:28 a.m.

A young woman wolfed down a quantity of cocaine after what was originally a routine traffic stop, according to a UA Police Department report.

The officer said he pulled over the subject for exceeding the speed limit and having a nonfunctional license-plate light. Because the driver could not provide identification and said her license was suspended, she was placed in handcuffs and put in the officer's squad car.

On the way to jail, she said she felt nauseated and wanted to go to the hospital instead. She explained that, between initial contact with the officer and his return to her vehicle, she swallowed an "entire eight ball and a half of pure cocaine" that she had in the car. She reportedly said she tied a knot in the bag that held the substance, stuck it in her mouth with a stick of gum (for ease of swallowing) and washed everything down with a 12-ounce can of Budweiser. She admitted she had panicked and said she had been hoping she could report her deed "in confidence," so he could "help her out with her situation."

She was transported to University Medical Center. Hospital staff was told that if she "passed" the baggie of cocaine, they were to contact UAPD so it could be processed for evidence.

Community on the Rocks

Hilton Ranch Road, July 12, 10:13 a.m.

A homeowner demanded justice regarding a neighbor who had reportedly harmed his landscaping, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report said.

The homeowner said that a neighbor he had been feuding with for years had a habit of driving over a border of decorative rocks in his front yard, because he apparently did not want the reportee to have a nice yard. The reportee hadn't called deputies before, he said, because it was "not that big of a matter."

When the responding deputy told him that tire tracks could not be traced back to the accused neighbor's house, the reportee said indignantly, "Are you kidding me?" Stating that he had a relative in the Sheriff's Department, he demanded that the deputy file a report and start a criminal investigation.

Coloring Outside the Lines

West Vereda De Las Flores, July 13, 12:34 p.m.

An amateur and uneducated graffiti artist vandalized the home of an innocent couple, said a PCSD report.

The victims showed the damage to law enforcement, who saw that several doors in the couple's home had vulgar words and phrases scrawled on them, including, "fuck you," "bitch" and "whore." In one instance, the word "whore" was spelled "howre." The graffiti appeared to have been written with crayon.

There were no signs of forced entry, and no objects were stolen.

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