Police Dispatch 

Going Bananas

East Sunrise Drive, June 8, 11:50 a.m.

A juice-bar customer unsatisfied with the quality of his smoothie allegedly became disruptive, personally offended and larcenous when refused a refund, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies were called to Keva Juice, 4776 E. Sunrise Drive, and met with a young Caucasian male who said that he and his companion had ordered smoothies but saw that the bananas used had been old, almost black in color. When he was told he could not get a refund, the subject said, he took money out of the tip jar "in a dramatic fashion" to make a point. He then put it back. The subject said that his companion had been the only "Mexican brown person" in the store, and he felt that they were victims of discrimination due to his companion's race and the fact that he is homosexual.

The Keva Juice employee who served the subject denied any remarks about sexual orientation or race and said he had, in fact, offered to make the subject another drink, which was refused. The subject then reportedly become enraged, stuffed a wad of tip-jar money into his pocket and walked quickly toward the door, later walking back and swearing loudly. The employee insisted that the bananas he had used were not rotten; the peels were brown because that was "just the proper aging process of the banana."

The subject was arrested for disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace and theft. The whole time he was talking to law enforcement, the subject was reportedly drinking the smoothie that had sparked the incident.

Brainless Romantic

UA Area, June 21, 11:52 p.m.

A trespassing bike thief caught red-handed tried to portray himself as innocent and in love, according to a UA Police Department report.

Alerted of suspicious activity near the Marroney Theater, 1025 N. Olive Road, a UA police officer drove to the area and saw a young male subject on the ground by the bike rack allegedly attempting to steal a bike. His backpack was open near him; various bike-stealing tools were scattered on the ground, and he had side cutters in his hand when approached. Asked what he was doing, the subject explained that he was trying to cut the bike spoke on his own bike. When asked why, he didn't answer. Finally, when asked what he was doing on campus, he declared he was there "to stare at a girl."

The subject turned out to have a warrant against him for criminal trespassing and was served an exclusionary order for attempted bike larceny. After a used syringe and crack pipe were found among his bike-stealing tools in his backpack, he was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia.

More by Anna Mirocha


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