Police Dispatch

It's Probably Not Her Diet

East Makohoh Trail, April 19, 9:22 p.m.

A driver who had apparently consumed no alcohol was so mentally incapacitated that she could not follow the simplest instructions, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Sheriff's deputies responding to a suspicious-person call encountered a woman in a blue car that was stopped in the middle of the road with its hazard lights on. When one deputy knocked on the window, the subject started to smile and mumble. Asked if she was on medication, she answered yes, that she was taking meat and potatoes, and knew she was not supposed to.

After looking for her driver's license and finding a comb instead, she became distracted and began combing her hair. The officer asked her to exit the vehicle, but at first, she couldn't manage to disengage her seat belt, and then she had great difficulty untangling herself from the shoulder strap. Finally out of the car, she couldn't stand without support. She wore a single black slipper.

The subject could not understand the officer's instructions, much less perform the "one-leg stand test" or follow a pen light with her eyes without moving her head. For the subject's safety, the tests were discontinued. After several attempts at using the breathalyzer, she was found to have a blood-alcohol level of 0.000.

She was arrested for "driving under the influence impaired to the slightest degree" and taken in for blood tests.

How Rude

UA Area, April 25, 4:34 a.m.

An intoxicated young California woman demanded courteous treatment from law enforcement, but refused to reciprocate, said a UA Police Department report.

A UA officer was dispatched to investigate a group of disorderly students near the Posada San Pedro dorm, 601 N. Highland Ave. The officer singled out two particularly rowdy individuals--one male and one female--for questioning, asking the female to wait while he talked to the male. "There's no need to be rude," the female stated. Both subjects were apparently drunk and underage.

When another officer arrived to speak with the female, she said he was "much nicer" than his peer. However, when told that she was under arrest for underage drinking and presented with a citation, she became condescending and said that this was not how California did things. She then threw a water bottle on the ground.

When the arresting officer told her to pick up the bottle, she commanded him to "say please," at which point the officer asked her to please pick up the water bottle. She obeyed.

As the subject was being escorted to the officer's vehicle, she collapsed on the ground on purpose. While the officer dutifully collected items she had dropped, she tried to hit him with her purse.

She was handcuffed and arrested.

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