Police Dispatch

Trim Your Hedges, Miss?

North Belbrook Drive, Jan. 28, 3:55 p.m.

A freelance landscaper seeking work was also apparently looking for love, said a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A woman reported that she had come home from work one day to find a truck parked outside her house, and she was approached by its owner, a short, middle-age Hispanic male, who said he was a landscaper and suggested that her hedges needed trimming. She hired him to do the job on the upcoming Wednesday. She then showed him to her backyard, where he would be plugging in his tools. As the two walked through her house, the landscaper said she had "pretty blue eyes" and asked whether she was married. The unsuspecting woman replied that her husband was deceased and that she lived alone, at which point the man said something about a "boyfriend," took her by her left arm and pulled her in for a kiss. She turned her face away, and his mouth landed on her cheek.

After the kiss, the victim's black dog ran into the room. The subject said, "Oh, big dog," and fled the house; the victim immediately locked her doors and called her relatives and law enforcement to report the incident.

Surprisingly enough, the subject returned the next Wednesday to cut the victim's bushes. When met by a sheriff's deputy, he admitted to the kiss, but said it "was not aggressive." He was arrested for causing fear of physical injury.

Not That Kind of Massage

North Via Celeste, Feb. 2, 4:35 p.m.

A professional masseuse became the object of a new client's sexual desire, according to a PCSD report.

The masseuse stated that she went to a call to administer a 90-minute deep-tissue massage to a 64-year-old male. After she set up her table and began working on the client's back, he started moaning and groaning loudly. The woman thought this was highly unusual, but said nothing, having had no previous experience with this customer.

After approximately 10 minutes, the man softly grabbed the masseuse's right leg. Taking this as a possible accidental touch, she continued the massage, but when he touched her a second time, the action was undoubtedly sexual--"there was no mistake about that," she said. She told the subject to stop touching her, and he complied.

As she continued to massage him, he moaned and groaned with increasing volume and began to rotate his pelvis "as if to stimulate himself." When he turned onto his back, he notably "adjusted his private parts."

By the end of the session, the client seemed to be asleep. After he awoke and put on a robe, he gave the masseuse $100 instead of the agreed-upon $140. His breath smelled of intoxicants.

She took the money and left the scene.

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