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Somebody Won the Pot

North Oracle Road, Nov. 26, 10:44 a.m.

A traveling San Diego man left his car windows open and was robbed of suitcases containing more than $10,000 in cash, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A sheriff's deputy was dispatched to the La Posada Lodge, 5900 N. Oracle Road; the victim reported that he was on his way to New Jersey and from there would be moving to Australia. The night before, he said, he had left all his belongings in his car while he had dinner at a sports bar, and the car's windows had been left cracked to release the odor of WD-40, which had spilled in the vehicle.

When he looked inside the car after dinner, he said, he noticed that two of his suitcases were missing. One contained approximately $10,000 in bills, while the other held about $1,500 in gold coins.

The victim stated that he always carries that much cash with him. In fact, he said, he had thousands of dollars more in the car, but it had been separated and packed into several suitcases. The man then explained that he was a professional poker player.

No witnesses could be located, and no security cameras were at the scene.


The Monkey Market

West Hadley Street, Nov. 29, 9:15 p.m.

A couple looking to purchase a capuchin monkey on the Internet was unsure of the legitimacy of a potential deal, said a PCSD report.

The couple reported that they been in contact with a seller through e-mail and had agreed to buy a capuchin from him for $880. However, when it came time to mail the payment, the seller requested that it be sent to an address in Cameroon--while the seller's Web site listed a Baltimore base.

The monkey buyers contacted the Sheriff's Department, because they feared the offer was fraudulent. No money was sent.


That's "Mr. You" to You

North Oracle Road, Dec. 6, 5:38 p.m.

An intoxicated man with an offensive alias was arrested for trespassing on UA property, according to a UA Police Department report.

An officer dispatched in reference to an intoxicated male found the subject staggering across the road and up a sidewalk on UA property. Once confronted, the man explained that he wanted to catch a bus and admitted he was not allowed in the vicinity; a records check confirmed that he had an exclusionary order from the UA, as well as a warrant for drinking in public. He was transported to his mother's house for a ride home, cited and eventually released.

Signing the citation, the subject wrote "Fuck You" where his name was supposed to go. The reporting officer asked if that was indeed his name, and the subject declared, "It's good enough."

More by Anna Mirocha

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