Police Dispatch

Poor Cactus!

North Caida Place, Nov. 20, 4:04 p.m.

An unsuspecting man found a hand grenade in his mailbox, according to Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The man reported that the grenade had been inside an unaddressed box. After finding it, he immediately put the package back in the mailbox and called the Sheriff's Department, which dispatched Explosive Ordnance Disposal personnel.

After advising neighbors to stay in their houses, officers retrieved the grenade, placed it at the base of a barrel cactus and shot at it to separate the grenade's head and body. The fragmented head blew a gaping hole in the cactus and lodged itself inside, requiring the cactus to be uprooted and cut in half for evidence collection.

The grenade's body apparently contained no explosive residue. In fact, it appeared to have had a hole in the bottom that had been plugged with a piece of aluminum foil and concealed with paint.

The victim reported that his mailbox had also contained a threatening note made from letters cut from various magazines. He did not know who might try to kill him; however, he admitted he was a lawyer.

No Questions Answered

UA Area Nov. 22, 1:03 a.m.

An intoxicated UA student impersonating a journalist tried to interview a police officer, according to a UA Police Department report.

The reporting officer stated that a young man approached him outside a party at the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house and said, "So, what do you think about what's going on here?" Asked what he meant, the student explained that he was a journalism major working for the Wildcat. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and positioned it in his hand as if it were a notebook. He then positioned his hand as if he had a pen and acted like he was writing.

The officer told the young man, who exhibited slurred speech, bad balance and alcohol-tainted breath, that if he wanted an interview, he would have to contact the UAPD's public information officer.

Later, after rejecting an apparent bribe attempt, the officer allowed the student to depart the scene.

Hey, He Needs the Money

South Palo Verde Road Nov. 29, 7:11 p.m.

A raggedly dressed, apparently homeless man stole change and small bills from a convenience-store donation jar, said a PCSD report.

A sheriff's deputy responded to a larceny call at a Circle K. The clerk notified him that a man had come into the store and stolen approximately $50 from the "change box," where customers put money for donations.

The thief was described as a blond Caucasian who appeared to be a transient. No suspects were identified, because nobody at the scene could operate the security camera.

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