Police Dispatch

Don't Drop the Spatula

North Thornydale Road, Nov. 3, 9:40 a.m.

A local Mexican-restaurant worker who enjoys lewd acts and jokes apparently went too far, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Police got a call from a young male employee at Casa Sanchez, 8320 N. Thornydale Road, who explained that he and two other employees had been called to the back of the restaurant to gather near the dishwasher by their joke-loving co-worker. As this co-worker was telling a joke involving a scrotum sack, he allegedly proceeded to show them his own scrotum--not by removing his pants or even unzipping them, but simply by pulling his testicles out of the top of his jeans.

"I really did not want to see that," said the reporter of the incident.

It was also asserted that the co-worker in question had been known to "grab other people's butts" while at work. However, when the offended party told the perpetrator of his objections to these acts, the offended party was informed, "You see a lot worse than that in prison."

In a discussion of the situation, the suspect denied exposing his scrotum sack. He was terminated anyway.

To Bed Without Supper

North Avenida Del Conejo Oct. 29, 7:17 p.m.

A husband who called his wife a bad name paid for his mistake weeks later at dinnertime, said a PCSD report.

The wife told police that she and her husband had been on bad terms and had been sleeping separately ever since he had called her a "fucking bitch" several weeks before. The most recent argument had started when she was making dinner, and her three daughters told her she shouldn't include their father in the meal, since he had refused to apologize for calling her the name. When the husband came home and was denied dinner, he became enraged and countered that his wife hadn't apologized for labeling him "freak boy," so, he wondered, why should he apologize for his own name-calling?

Soon, the wife said, her husband decided to make dinner for himself, getting two frozen chicken pot pies and putting one in the microwave. The wife took the cooked pot pie and threw it against the door frame. The husband placed the other pie in the microwave and turned it on, but the wife turned it off. The husband turned it on again, and again, the wife turned it off. The husband restarted the microwave once more and dialed 911.

Due to the fact that no physical violence had occurred, police decided it would be best for everyone to go to bed so that emotions could be calmed. According to the report, "Photographs of the chicken pot pie were not taken due to the fact that the evidence had been cleaned up by the dogs."

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