Police Dispatch

The E-Mail Terminator

Unincorporated Pima County, April 10, 1:33 p.m.

A woman said she received a threatening e-mail at work, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

According to the report, the e-mail, sent from an address the woman didn't recognize, claimed that "someone had been assigned to 'terminate her.'"

The sender stated that he had been paid to carry out the threat, but he had trailed the woman for a week and had come to the conclusion that she wasn't guilty of the "crimes" of which she had been accused by the person who hired him.

According to the report, the e-mail said that if the woman paid approximately $30,000, its sender would give her information to take the person who hired him to court.

The woman suspected the e-mail was some sort of "out-of-state scam" that didn't faze her, the report said, but she and her superiors decided to treat it as if the threats contained within it were genuine.

Authorities told the woman to contact PCSD if she received any other threats.

Jail Is So Sexy

Overton and Thornydale Roads, April 14, 10:10 p.m.

Deputies arrested a man for disorderly conduct after a witness complained that he was shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs, a PCSD report said.

Authorities contacted the reportee, who said she could hear someone about a quarter-mile away using profanity that was so bad, she didn't want to repeat it.

A deputy found Joseph Alfred Guliani, 48, walking down a road. The report said he smelled strongly of alcohol and had a hard time keeping his balance.

At first, Guliani reportedly refused to give his name, claiming he had "a right to remain silent." He continued to refuse to identify himself, so two deputies worked together to place him in handcuffs, the report said.

While the deputies were doing this, Guliani allegedly used profanity again and again, calling two deputies "white niggers." While en route to the Pima County Adult Detention Center, Guliani reportedly said he liked being arrested and going to jail "because it's sexy." He also called a deputy a "dickhead" while en route, the report said.

Snort This!

UA Area, April 27, 9:42 a.m.

A bag of cocaine turned up at a dorm, according to a report from the University of Arizona Police Department.

An officer was dispatched to the Coronado Residence Hall, 822 E. Fifth St., after someone found a bag containing a white, powdery substance near a sixth-floor elevator at about 9:20 a.m.

Authorities used a narcotics-analysis kit to positively determine the substance was cocaine weighing approximately .1 grams.

The cocaine was taken back to the station and marked for destruction.

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