Police Dispatch 

At Least The Person Wiped

Tanque Verde and Wentworth Roads, Dec. 9, 8:34 a.m.

Someone used a woman's van as a giant toilet, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

The woman who reported the incident told a deputy that she had uncharacteristically parked her GMC van outside of her garage. When she went outside at approximately 8:15 a.m., she found toilet paper around her vehicle.

Thinking she had been the victim of a childish prank, the woman started picking up the toilet paper.

"However, she said that as she cleaned up the toilet paper around her vehicle, she noted that the toilet paper was soiled with, what appeared to be, human feces," the report stated. She placed the soiled toilet paper in a trashcan and started driving to a nearby store.

As she was driving, the woman detected "a very unpleasant smell" coming through the vehicle's vents. She investigated where the source of the smell was coming from and reportedly found a large mound of human feces on the exterior of her vehicle. The mound was beneath the windshield and between the two windshield wipers, on the vent that leads into the vehicle.

The woman drove home and contacted PCSD. She said there had no suspicious activity in her neighborhood that she could recall.

A deputy photographed the excrement. There was no further information at the time of the report.

Easy Money?

Orange Grove Road and First Avenue, Dec. 5, 4:49 p.m.

A woman gave $40 to two men claiming to be pool repairmen, a PCSD report said.

The woman told authorities she was expecting a pool repairman she had never spoken to before--but knew by name--to come by her house that day.

A large white truck with a black toolbox in the back pulled into her driveway later that day, and two men exited, she said. The woman asked one of the men if he was the pool repairman, using the repairman's name, and he responded that he was. She then took the men into her backyard to show them what needed fixing.

One of the men asked her if there was a hardware store nearby, claiming they would need about $25 to buy materials. The woman reportedly gave them $40 and sent them on their way.

The pair never returned, the report said. After quite some time, she phoned the pool repairman, who said he had been detained in Vail all day and apologized for not making it out to her house. The repairman said the two men who showed up didn't work for him and told her to call the police.

The woman provided a description of the men to authorities.

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