Police Dispatch 

I Can Pay You

Skyline Drive and Campbell Avenue, March 25, 12:30 a.m.

A UA medical student attempted to bribe a deputy who arrested him for urinating outside an upscale restaurant, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

Several witnesses at NoRTH Restaurant at La Encantada accused 23-year-old Nishant Patel of relieving himself outside Firebirds Rocky Mountain Grill.

Mall security detained Patel, who reportedly became belligerent in front of bystanders, and phoned authorities. A deputy who responded to the call said Patel appeared to be heavily intoxicated and was slurring so badly that it was difficult to make out what he was saying.

Authorities arrested Patel on charges of disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing.

On the way to the Pima County Adult Detention Center, Patel allegedly told the deputy driving the car that he "was a rich man" who had $4,000 at his house. He reportedly offered to give the deputy that money if he drove him there.

When the deputy refused, Patel told him he would be sorry, the report stated.

Shit Happens

UA Area, April 2, 9:51 a.m.

A sorority girl found feces smeared all over her 2004 Jeep Wrangler, a according to a report from the UA Police Department.

The Jeep's owner said she was sure her vehicle was feces-free when she went out with friends the night before. But the next morning, when she decided to go for a drive, she found feces rubbed all over both door locks, in every bolt hole on all four wheel wells, on about a dozen spots on the hood, in the tailgate door lock and on both headlights.

There were no suspects at the time of the report.

Torso Trauma

Valencia Road and Camino De Oeste, March 24, 4:53 pP.m.

A student stabbed a peer in the ribs with a No. 2 pencil, a PCSD report said.

The alleged victim, a 12-year-old boy, told a deputy who came to his house that he raised his arm in the air while playing on the school bus. When he did so, he said, an acquaintance jammed the pencil into his ribs.

The deputy noted a small prick on the left side of the boy's torso.

The boy's mother decided to pursue disciplinary action with the school after conferring with the deputy. They both decided the incident may simply have been a case of horseplay that went too far.

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