Police Dispatch 

Sounds Strange, Doughnut?

West Ina Road and North La Cholla Boulevard, June 9, 4:07 p.m.

A grocery-shopping couple returned to their car to find a note--accusing them of hitting another vehicle--along with two doughnuts plastered on their door and windshield, according to a PCSD report.

A deputy responding to the Albertson's, 7300 N. La Cholla Blvd., said the note stated "something to the effect that he hit someone else's vehicle and how could he do that?" The report said there was an expletive at the bottom of the note, as well as a threat about hearing from State Farm Insurance. On the windshield and driver's side door were splattered two chocolate doughnuts.

The deputy contacted the store manager to see if the incident was on tape. There were no suspects at the time of the report.

Burning Bridges, One Jerk at a Time

East Valencia Road and Interstate 10, June 13, 10:06 p.m.

A Pima County Sheriff's Department report said a Tucson man wants his neighbor to stop calling him a "jerk," while his neighbor wants him to keep an eye on his dogs and children--the latter of which she accuses of setting fire to her trampoline.

The man was reportedly raking up debris to install a wall between his house and his neighbor's when, he claimed, she came to the door and called him names.

The woman denied calling him a jerk, but when deputies pressed her about it, she agreed that her neighbor was one, the report said. She said she had a court date set to iron out the problems regarding the man's three dogs.

The woman alleged her neighbor was "always" intoxicated; therefore, communication was impossible between the two.

Deputies told the neighbors to continue documenting offensive events.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

East Drexel Road and South Palo Verde Road, June 11, 11:27 a.m.

Authorities responded to a call from bickering neighbors who had two very different stories about what transpired between them, a PCSD report said.

The 63-year-old man who contacted authorities alleged his neighbors across the street were shouting profanities at him and telling him to "suck my dick." He reportedly demanded that they be arrested.

A deputy asked the man if his neighbors made any harmful or physical threats against him, to which he reportedly replied, "Hell yes, they were! They told me they were going to kick my ass." The man said both the mother and the son across the road were threatening him.

Deputies went over to the neighbor's trailer, where the mother reportedly said the man had been outside yelling at them to move their vehicles "to the other side of the border where they belong." She said she didn't say anything to him, but that her son--who wasn't at home--may have, since the man was being testy.

Deputies informed the man that they could not verify his story without an independent witness. No arrests were made.

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