Police Dispatch

Caught With His Pants Down

South Alvernon Way

May 6, 2:32 p.m.

A deputy found a homeless man (who apparently liked the color red) naked in a car on the side of a major road—and possibly saved his life by commanding him to get medical attention for a leg infection, which he claimed was the reason he wasn't wearing pants, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A sheriff's deputy responded to an indecent-exposure call at South Alvernon Way near the Interstate 10 off-ramp, where a caller had reported there was a red Pontiac parked on the side of the road with the door open and a male inside, completely naked except for a red baseball cap.

The deputy easily found the Pontiac and approached the man sitting inside, now covering his "private parts" with a towel. The man gave the deputy his ID card and explained that he was "waiting for his girlfriend," who was asking for money on the off-ramp.

But according to the man, he wasn't naked in preparation for some kind of sexual activity with his girlfriend. When the deputy asked why he wasn't wearing any clothes, he said he was homeless and the only clothes he owned had been "ripped off due to an infection in his leg"; that is, "his pants were getting stuck to that infection," so he'd torn them off.

The man said insisted he didn't want to go to the hospital or anything like that.

The deputy then phoned the reportee of the incident—a man who'd been driving by a little earlier—and asked if that person actually seen the subject's genitalia or anus, and the reportee said no, he'd only seen the man's bare side and had just called the Sheriff's Department in case the subject got out of his Pontiac, since there was a lot of traffic in the area.

The deputy determined he wouldn't arrest the subject for indecent exposure since the Sheriff's Department was short-staffed that day, and since the man did need medical attention—whether he wanted it or not. So the deputy sharply insisted that the man somehow find some clothes to wear and, until he did, he mustn't open his car door to allow anyone else to see his naked body—and he must leave as soon as possible and go straight to the hospital.

The man said he understood and would leave the area shortly (presumably once his girlfriend returned from the off-ramp).

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