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Should've Gone Somewhere Fancier

Where dreams go to die.

Where dreams go to die.

San Xavier Beat

Dec. 25, 7:36 p.m.

A young man and woman scored a free holiday dinner at a local chain diner, but cops ensured they'd pay for it later—probably many times over—through the legal system, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

A couple of hours after dark on Christmas Day, sheriff's deputies drove to a southwest-side Waffle House restaurant, where employees told them a man and woman had just attempted a "dine and dash"—except only the woman had apparently "dashed"; the male was still in the restaurant, looking "high or intoxicated and ... nodding off ... in a chair near the bathroom."

This subject, a forlorn-looking Caucasian 20-something male in a striped shirt, told deputies he'd come to the Waffle House with "a friend"; after they'd eaten she'd told him she was going outside to smoke, but she'd never returned. He believed she'd driven away. He said he had no money, so he'd called a different "friend" to come pay the bill and pick him up, but he'd been waiting for an hour for this person. After talking to Waffle House employees and customers, deputies determined the female subject was a thin, short, 20-year-old Caucasian with numerous piercings, and both subjects had come to the restaurant in a BMW. They soon found this very car still parked in the lot outside, with the small pierced female in the passenger seat.

When both subjects stood together inside for questioning, each of them insisted they'd thought the other would be paying. The female added that she didn't know why the male would think she'd ditched him in the restaurant, since the BMW was his, and he had the keys. (Perhaps his reasoning had been influenced by booze or drugs, but he apparently wasn't "out of it" enough for this to be addressed directly.) After a lot of half-hearted arguing back and forth, both subjects finally agreed to sign a citation for "theft of services," since they'd each entered the Waffle House knowing they had no money. After being banned from that particular Waffle House, they were released.

More by Anna Mirocha

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