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Police Dispatch 

Peace, Officer

North Euclid Avenue

Aug. 10, 3:25 p.m.

A young man seemed unable to understand why it might not be totally cool to hang out in public drinking a six-pack in the middle of the day—basically telling a cop who caught him to chill out, according to a University of Arizona Police Department report.

The UA officer came across the 25-year-old male sitting casually on a bench outside an upscale hotel right next to campus. The man was drinking from a brown bottle (obviously a beer bottle, even viewed from a distance), not bothering to put it down as the officer approached—nor trying to hide the five other bottles he had right next to him.

The officer immediately recognized the subject as someone currently under an exclusionary order banning him from the entire university—whose property line began about 10 steps away from the young man's position, according to the police report.

When the officer asked "what he was up to," the subject drawled, "just relaxing and drinking a beer." (Thankfully, he didn't take his affable attitude a step further by offering the officer a cold one.)

After the cop informed him that, in fact, "he could not consume alcoholic beverages in public, and he was currently sitting on a bench adjacent to the sidewalk," the subject relented and said, "Sorry." He said he was "unaware" that he couldn't just sit there and drink his beer.

The officer wrote up the subject a for drinking in public and dumped out all his beer into a nearby garbage can, reminding the man of his exclusionary order with a warning not to step onto UA property. As calmly as ever, the subject agreed not to do so, signed his citation promising to appear in court, and strolled away.

More by Anna Mirocha

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